Well,
Finals are here and god help if im not nervous. you know its funny. i do just fine through my classes then finals roll around and i start sweating bullets. seriously, its just wierd

Monday night i have my History Final, for the most part im ready for it. just hope i can catch when my teacher alters phrasing in a sentance from that of the study guide.

Wed I have My Music Theory Final, thats the one im really stressed over. I always have this bad habit of mixing concepts or movements of chords and its always the tiny mistakes that get me. so heres hoping i can study my material enough to not get so mixed up.

Work, now heres a subject that right now has my blood boiling. Not only was i passed up for promotions again for reasons i dont care to state to avoid getting further into the shithole im in already, but they are piling on the overtime the week before christmas and its driving me insane. i have enough stresses right now.

Listen people, those of you whove known me for a long time know that when life starts getting this stressful i tend to loose control sometimes of my own emotions and actions and it makes me a less then favorable person on many levels in alot of people eyes. i dont do it on purpose, and im asking you all to please be understanding. im not appologizing because its pointless to, appologies mean zip in this world ive learned that the hard way.
I work hard daily to fix my problems and i know it may not be to alot of your specifications but i do the best god damn job i can. I have stumbling blocks that by god make life sometimes damn near impossible. and yes i know damn well that others have it worse then me. im not asking for a pity party, i dont want one or need it. I am who i am and i do the very best i can with what i have.

My emotions are running high so yes this is a rant as well but i dont have any other outlet with which to spill this. Ive had it with telling people directly because it only makes me feel worse. so for anyone who read this i hope you have some understanding of what im going through. and please. no pity i dont want or need it. if you want to know more contact me im glad to explain. Im working my ass off to try and change, but if its not as quick as you want it to be, sorry. till then take care. each and everyone one of you who are my friends, my REAL friends, you know who you are, and you know i care about you, you know id do anything for you. so please dont think im telling you to go fuck off because im not. id never do that nor will i ever. count on it.